Three Overheard Items Recently Passed Along to the Redactor, Volume I

The White Shoe Staff

A Brief Exchange between a Father and His Son in the Bathroom of the Lincoln Memorial
[submitted by Lewis Tate]

Father [still standing at urinal, to son]: Wash your hands.
Son: I didn't go.
Father [louder]: Wash your hands.
Son [confused]: I couldn't go. It wouldn't come out.
Father [now angry]: That's not what I asked. Your pee-pee is dirty! Wash your hands!

A Ride Attendant Questions a Patron Entering the Raging Bull Roller Coaster at Great America
[submitted by J.B. Rowberry]

Ride Attendant: Excuse me, Sir. Can I ask you a question?
Patron [uncertainly]: Yeah.
Ride Attendant [with an attitude]: What do you think you're doing?
[Answer drowned out by screams as the ride begins.]

A Man Explains the Facts of Life to His Daughter at the Local Supermarket
[submitted by Pablo Ortiz]

Daughter [watching father stack seven or eight packages of unidentifiable meat into his cart]: What kind of meat is that?
Father: It's the 49-cent kind. It's cheap, OK?