>Re: Fwd: Forward
Bit and Bitter
[Bit and Bitter are Ryan "the good, the bit, and the ugly" Hamilton and Ryan "festering canker of bitterness" Honaker]
You know that we never usually forward these things, but this one was too good to pass up! It's probably not true, but what if it is? Just read through this whole thing before you delete it. Please don't be mad at us for sending you this. We need the money they promised. Our recent investment in the Diana Ross and the Supreme's reunion concert went sour and Amway just hasn't been panning out like we had hoped. (By the way, if any of you need some of our great high-quality products, don't hesitate to ask us about the new Amway summer catalog.)
-- Forwarded Message --
>To: bitandbitter@hotmail.com
>From: senator@hatch.senate.gov
>Subj: Fwd: You Could be Rich, JUst read this!!!
>Message:
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>For every person you forward this email to Microsoft will give you >$38! I know that this seems hard to believe, BUT IT IS TRUE!! Let me >introduce myself. My name is Heinrik Oppenheimer and I would not lie >to you. I split the atom and invented flatware. So you know that I am >smrt and you can trust me. I am NOT 13 years old. I don't even know >where RFK Junionr High School even is, so I certainly can't be in >there computer lab writing this. I used to be a really high executive >with Microsoft, but the fired me when I found about this email paying >people to forward them program and now I make my entire living >forwarding emails. You can believe me. I have a PHDs in Microsoft and >emails. I too didn't believe this when I first heard about it, so I >asked a lawyer I know and he said it was ABSOLUTELY TRUE! If you >forward thsi email to everyone you know, then Microsoft will have to >pay you or they will go to jail. As soon as you forward this to at >least 10 people then the counter will start because Microsoft, Disney >and Play-Dough in a joint venture want to see who is getting emails >over the phone lines and into their computers. As I said before, >Microsoft will pay you $38 per email, plus, if you forward this in >the next five minutes then Napster will give you $.17 per email >assuming they are still have any money, plus a Metallica CD. Plus, If >you send this to more than 100 people then ford Motor Co. will send >you a new Suburban. Costco will unfortunately take $.08 for every >email you send ($.10 if you have a membership), but if you do the >math then you will see that you still come out way ahead. I talked to >a real live mathematician I know and he said it is ABSOLUTELY TRUE!! >In case you still don't believe this, let me tell you that my >unemployed uncle didn't beileve it either until he tried it and now >he lives in a mansion. But if you don't believe me you can write him >yourself and ask him: unclesteve@usedtobehomeless.com. Plus, if you >don't send this to at least everyone you know you will get very bad >luck. (So if your someone who hates bad luck you'd better forward >this thing!) Microsoft has designed a special bad luck program >(cleverly named "Windows") which will track how many of these you >forward and give you bad luck. An old man got this and didn't forward >it and he died. His next of kin wrote us back and told us about it, >that's how I know.